Heading for The Boot

Tomorrow I’m flying out for the sunny Sunshine State. I’ll be leaving at around nine in the morning, which, of course, means I need to arrive at the airport tonight around six o’clock. The Boot!Florida is the Sunshine State, right? It could be Montana – I can’t remember. I also can’t remember if anyone actually calls it ‘the boot’… I guess these details aren’t really important. Irregardless, I’m heading for sunny Tampa Bay tomorrow morning, and let me tell you how excited I am!

I am excited.

So I’m leaving tomorrow morning and getting back some time on the 7th. Trust me when I say that when I get back I’ll be darker than a Mexican hiding in a closet. Not like gay like someone would come out of a closet, but just rather to illustrate that it’s dark in there. You know what I mean. Anyway, yeah I plan to lie on the beaches sipping my ties and watching hula girls um… You know, I really don’t know what happens on the beach, but I will be there. Maybe not with my ties and stuff, but maybe a Corona? There’s another Mexican reference for you. But actually, you know what? I won’t really even be on the beach. Because I’ll be SCUBA diving. To you lay folk out there, that means I will be self-contained underwater breathing apparatus diving. I will be under water.

The great thing about diving is that you actually breathe while you’re under the water, so you don’t have to keep coming up for air or anything like some of you probably think. And you can stay down there for a really long time – especially if you hold your breath. I’ve stayed down there for a couple of weeks at a time before. I met a mermaid once and we got tangled up. Long story. Anyway, yeah, I’ll mostly be diving, so I won’t have a lot of time for beaches. Which is sad, because it’s a damn good movie.

So we’re going on a dive trip, and I think we’re rolling down to Key Largo and Boca Raton and maybe Lake Erie or something. I’m really looking forward to it, having just completed a dive refresher course. It wasn’t because I forgot anything, but I just wanted to make sure I had working equipment and whatnot. Because when I get in the water, I don’t get wet. The water gets Space.

I’ll be back next Monday evening, and will be back to my normal old self. You own’t ever even miss me or know I’m gone, because I’ve already written my Friday and Monday columns! Gosh, I love technology. (Not as much as you, you see…) But I still love technology.

This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. amanda

    Hope you have a great time! Catch some sun rays for me, as good gracious I could use it! Can’t wait to hear what crazy story you’ll have to post about when you return as I’m sure there will one.

  2. Bon Voyage or whatever folks say on an occasion such as this. Wish you wet or hope the water is salty. Anyway have a great time I’ll be wishing it was me over and down there.

  3. scott

    I didn’t know you had your PADI license. We need to load up some AK-47’s and head to the Red Sea. Diving there is parallel to none, and making it out alive to tell about it is, too. Risk vs. Reward.

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