Well, my guy didn’t win.

I’m deeply saddened tonight that my candidate didn’t win. We had every chance, it seemed like, to step forward with a voice that would carry America into the next four years with a positive celerity and ensure peace and stability for the future of life as we know it.

I had great expectations that we would step forth and raise our hands in support of the next great leader, but majority ruled in favor of the underdog. The dark horse. And what saddens me the most is how close we really came. That’s right, friends and patriots. We came close enough to smell victory’s sweet, yet pungent aroma. And we elected the wrong guy.

What this means is higher taxes, longer workdays and more socialized public services. This country – nay, this world – will never be the same. Perhaps we will even fail. Because what I believe is right and true cannot possibly be represented by the winner of this election. We shall never know life as we have known it before, even as recent as yesterday. This world will become a dark and dreary place.

That’s right, friends. It has really happened. We have just elected our first male treasurer of SpaceBrew Enterprises. Robin Banks, the proposed encumbent, was beat out by Noah Zark.

Being the chairman and C.S.O. Of SpaceBrew, you might expect me to remain silent or neutral about this election. But I cannot. I have known Noah for many years and all I can day is he’s a radical. He’s going to bring us all aboard his political platform two by two. He plans to march us all into his ship like animals. And he’ll flood us all with his agenda. It’s going to be a rainy season for us here at SpaceBrew. And he’s arking toward total domination.

Sigh. Anyway, I guess congratulations are in order. I hope – in spite of our political differences – he fairs well. He’s a good man. I’m just going to miss Robin Banks. Oh well, we live another day. So did anyone hear who won the presidential election?

This Post Has 7 Comments

  1. Yes B.H.O. won. Women , African-Americans and Mexican-Americans voted their hearts and not their minds. I would encourage everyone to quit their jobs at once and run right over to get in the free hand out line. All the rich people are going to be forced to take care of us now. I’m asking the wifey to retire now so we don’t scare the 200K mark and risk having to give up what we work for.

  2. scott

    There was an election? huh? Did I miss something?

  3. steppy

    Makes me sad that Noah Zark lost! Things could have been so different. Words, words and more words!!!! :words:

  4. Space

    Yeah, Steppy, it is sad indeed.

    Wait. What? Noah Zark won. Robin Banks lost. I’m uh… :?

    Are you also sad that Obama lost the presidential election?

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