Well for the last two months I’ve been away from Geek Squad, settling into my new job, and loving it. No more people approaching the counter demanding refunds for the laptop that just “stopped working” with the promise that there’s “no way in hell” they dropped it, and oh, what’s this crack in the LCD? Well that stuff just happens. Or it came like that. Or software did that.

Anyway, it’s nice not to have to deal with the brunt of society’s idiots on a daily basis. Now I provide desktop and server support to all the clinics for the company for which I work, but really there are no stupid people here. There are those who have no idea what’s what in the world of techmology, but they’re sensible people. This is, after all, the medical industry. And I love it. So why am I writing? Ah, you know me. I don’t write about things when I’m happy about them.

Well let’s just say I have some more things to say. And it’s been a while, so they’ve sort of piled up. And if there’s one thing I hate worse than rubberneckers on the highway, it’s – –wait… I don’t think I hate anything worse than rubberneckers. Well, except for maybe that one douchebag who can’t drive or is too busy on the phone to pay attention, and thus causes a wreck that blocks most of the major highways all around the metroplex. No, yeah, no I’m not kidding. This happened about a week and a half ago. One worthless douche got too busy looking at her phone, so she caused a horrible accident. Cars caught fire and they stopped traffic on I-35 and 121. Well traffic getting onto those backed up, so it affected the 190 George Bush and LBJ 635 as well. Basically the entire metroplex shut down because of one woman who was irresponsible behind the wheel. What should be done about this?

Well, for one, I think her license should be taken away until such time as she’s able to repay a fine for the amount of every single affected driver’s time wasted that day. I spent two hours sitting in the heat. I bill out at about $95 per hour. So you owe me almost $200. And everyone else? Yeah you have to pay them for lost time too. And the gasoline. We’re pretty much talking millions of dollars. She should pretty much never get to drive again EVER.

Okay I went off on a little tangent there. Whew. That never happens. Okay so what do I hate worse than people like that? People who ride their bicycles on the road during rush hour traffic. A couple, probably in their mid-forties, were riding their bikes on Plano parkway at 5:30 in the afternoon, after I’d already sat in traffic for over an hour and a half. They had their little lycra pants on and their matching shirts and their fanny packs and their pointy helmets, altogether looking like they were out for a nice Sunday morning (Monday at 5:30 pm on a major road) stroll.

These assdouches held up traffic on the two-lane road because we all had to swerve over into the left lane (which was already crowded as was) so we could go around them. Then to make matters worse, we all get stopped by a light. So these cockcunts squeeze by us as we’re stopped, right against the curb, and get back in front of all the cars who just passed them, waiting at the light. Light changes, they go straight. We all have to PASS THEM AGAIN. I don’t think I’ve the proper authority over the English language to express to you the depth and breadth of my rage at this. Suffice it to say that I wanted to commit murder on these two arrogant Frisco bikers who thought it was okay for them to cause traffic so they could ride their stupid bikes together. Seriously, go ride in your own neighborhood. At like 7:00 pm, after the traffic has died down.

I didn’t kill anyone. So you might say I allowed them to live. This could also be likened to saying I saved their lives. Right? So I was very magnanimous that day for sparing their worthless idiotic arrogant assdouching lives. They should have their bicycles taken away though. Forever and ever. Or bent into worthless scrap right in front of them. Or oh ooh ooh, maybe underneath them, and with the bumper of a large truck! Yeah.

Okay so I’ve vented. I feel a little better. It’s just that I don’t have to deal with traffic anymore these days since I work a straight shot down 121 toll and there just isn’t ever any. So when it takes me eleven minutes to get to and from work on normal days, I’m suddenly sitting there in this crap for 120? Yeah I get a little angry. Especially when you have bicyclists thinking they are somehow important enough to be entitled to a share of a major road at rush hour during the worst accident in years. Sigh. Here I go again. I’m going to go punch a hole in something.