I’m sorry, iPhone. I want you back.

I haven’t been using the phone part of the iPhone for the last six months or so. So I guess I’ve basically been carrying around an i. Heh. I got tired of AT&T’s bullsh, so I switched to someone with a more reliable network, and an altogether more affordable calling plan. Paying 200 bucks a month just so I can look cool carrying around my iPhone is ridiculous. Because I still didn’t look that cool. Not once did some hot chick with big boobs come bouncing up to me and say, “OMG you are so hot with that there iPhone, space.” So I dumped them.

So this other company, which starts with a V and rhymes with ‘horizon’ charges me 15 bucks a month to do all this great shit. Well, the phone was just a flip phone though, and – well, it didn’t have apps and all that glorious iPhoney stuff on it. Sniff. So I’ve been carrying around my iPhone and my phone. There’s just no service on my iPhone, so it’s like in permanent airplane mode. Which is cool. I mean, it’s like an iPod touch with a camera on it. Zing! So I’ve been pretty happy. Then came last week, when I made the mistake of my ife. (Get it? Ife? Like the beginning of iPhone… Yeah? No? Okay. Sorry, read on.)

Well my mistake wasn’t really a mistake as such. But I got you to click more, right? Just kidding. You know the iPad came out, right? And of course, I want one. F all you haters out there who keep talking all the trash about how it “doesn’t play flash!” and “it’s 4×3 so I can’t watch movies!” and “it doesn’t even have a front-facing camera for web conferences!” :what: Yeah. I know, right? Can’t wait until some competition comes out.

Anyway, I think a little internet tablet without a keyboard would be very comfortable for browsing the web, moderating my website, reading forums and email, updating my twitter, looking at photos, you know – all the stuff I do when I’m putting around on my iPhone at the house. It would just be a bigger, better picture, and probably more comfortable to hold! And a helluva lot more comfortable than a big ass laptop. Have I beat this point to death yet? Okay. One more shot: I really want an iPad, or something like it.

So in my little mind, that meant getting rid of my iPhone. Hey, I don’t use the phone anymore anyway! The iPad is just a bigger iPod (which is basically what I have). So I don’t need both. And the big deal is that the Best Buy Trade-In program will give me 170 bucks on my iPhone. Well that’s good credit toward the iPad. Let’s do it. Well I’ve been lazy with finding a UPS store and getting it shipped to them, so I’ve been driving around with my iPhone in my truck lately. And occasionally I see tears on the box.

I went and got a new phone the other day, put my wife on the plan with me, and she got a Droid (little jealous). I got the Kin. I went into Best Buy and I saw it and was like, ooh I want that, he was like well it isn’t out until next week, and I was like well how much will it be, and he was like, oh I was wrong it’s out today and I was like well sign me the hell up, and he was like aight, and now I’m like hell yeah. It’s tiny. It’s a pretty cool little gadget. So connected. I don’t really even care about Facebook and Twitter as much as this little phone does. But it’s like BOOM right there in your face, constantly. So maybe it will make me a better friend to my Facebook friends. Dig?

Anyway, the thing that first attracted me to it was its size. The second thing was the headphone jack. Because that means I can stereo cable into my stereo in my truck and blast my tunes while I drive. Gotta have that. It has that. My old flip phone doesn’t. And if I’m replacing my iPhone with an iPad, I won’t be carrying that iPad around in my truck. That would just be silly to have a damn tablet suctioned to my windshield, blocking out entire lanes of traffic. So I’d just have a phone that can do mp3s well. No biggie, I can play with the iPad when I get home in the evenings.

Well I’ve had the phone for a few days now, and have found the mp3 player isn’t like iPhone’s. :( It’s a little clunky and hard to navigate. And it only holds like a thousand songs. Not like 5000 like the iPhone did. :( And suddenly, I’m like, I can’t take it anymore! So I reached over across the seat and I grabbed that box and ripped it open, tearing my iPhone free and holding it tight against my chest while we cried together. “I’m so sorry, SpacePod! I didn’t know how much I really needed you! But I do now! Never again! I swear, never again!” And we made up.

Why can’t we all just get along?

Well, we can. Now I’ve decided that I will go ahead and buy my iPad like I wanted to, I’ll carry my Kin around for ultra connectivity, and I’ll keep my iPhone with me too, for musical awesomeness and companionship. And the maps and calendar, which the Kin doesn’t have. :rolleyes: Seriously? Even my flip phone had a shitty calendar. And you call yourself a revolutionary device? I hope the first firmware update adds a calendar. But yeah, so I’ll just carry all the devices around. Well, I can leave the iPad at home, but I will just have to carry the other two phones around to be double-ass connected. (Notice that was not double ass-connected.)

So I learned a lesson through this whole mess. It’s that… I don’t… Well, I think… Okay, maybe I didn’t learn a lesson. Well, wait, yes I did. I think I need to do a little research on a new phone or device before I just go out and buy one, expecting to replace one as awesome as the iPhone. Seriously, remember we talked about it being the singularity of technology? I’m no Apple guy. But if you haven’t realized the awesome power and potential of the iPhone, you’re not looking very closely.

So yeah, maybe my lesson learned is this: if you’re going to replace an iPhone with another device, be ready to make an investment. Because in my case, it took three devices to replace it. A Kin (for phone service), an iPad (for the utility around the house) and the iPhone itself (because seriously? I can’t get rid of the damn thing now.) Nothing can replace it now. And that’s what frightens me.


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2 Responses

  1. Siege says:

    Didn’t you know?

    Droid does.

  2. Stout says:

    You need a new update, because you might have found that iPhone replacement now. I’m just waiting for the article about your new Motorola Devour.

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