Greetings, SpaceBrewers, and welcome back to another edition of the Daily Brew, with Space. You know sometimes we have celebrities stop by the offices here at corporate, and we are usually very cordial with them; invite them in, sit and talk with them, give them bacon and coffee, you know, the usual. Other times we’re simply too busy to accomodate them, and have to turn them away at the door. We just don’t have time to see every single fan of the site personally, you know? It makes us sad, and in a perfect world, we would. But this isn’t a perfect world, is it?
Anyway, occasionally, some of our Hollywood friends will stop in and say hi, and we’ll set up our recording device and interview them as a courtesy to give them some momentum on whatever they’re currently promoting. Remember, for instance, when Michael Crichton stopped by the Brew to promote his new book? And the times Stephen Cannell did the same thing? Those were nice instances of when they stopped by and we made them feel accommodated. There have been others, of course, like when Charlize Theron stopped by and I interviewed her, but it got a little out of hand, she crawled over the table and we started making out right there. I had only asked her a few questions when the interview was suddenly over, and we’re suddenly naked right there in the front conference room, just going at it. Obviously, that’s not very appropriate for the site.
It’s happened several times in our short history here, but one other that you may remember because you heard about it on TMZ is when Rachel McAdams stopped by to get her compact (because she had left it on my nightstand a couple weeks before) and we just immediately went at it. Couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Meh. No big deal. Anyway, the point of all this is that we had another great interview the other morning when Jessica Simpson stopped by to hang out. And fortunately, we were able to keep it professional for thirty minutes or so.
So. Jessica. How’s it hangin?
Well, Brian, very good. Thank you for asking. I’ve been real busy lately, so I’m sorry I haven’t called or anything.
Whoa, sweetheart, please don’t use my Christian name here… You know all my fans know me as Space. It’s all right. I’m so busy here lately I don’t know if I would have had time to even take your call. So how’s Tony? You guys still serious?
Well, I don’t like to talk about him when I’m around you. But yeah, I guess. We occasionally see each other. We don’t really do much though when I go over there. He likes to sit on the couch and play Atari.
Atari. You mean X-Box or something, right? Because Atari is older than you are, babe. But wait. I think that may be irrelevant. That might be a mute point when we look at the bigger picture here. You. Jessica Simpson. With your mammoth breasts. Sitting on a dude’s couch. In his house. And he’s playing a video game?
Well, like I said, we have a different sort of relationship than most people. We just like being around each other. Tickle fights. Cocoa. You know. Stuff like that. What?! Why are you looking at me like that?
No reason. I just have trouble picturing Tony Romo engaging in a tickle fight.
Oh he does. He’s good at it too. He’s also a helluvatuff pillow fighter too. This one time, my pillow broke and all the feathers flew out. There were literally like feathers, like everywhere! And…
Okay. Okay, Jess. Please. Let’s move away from the pillow fight talk. My readers here are-
Oh just one more thing though! See, right here, this little mark? That’s when he hit me with the football. The pillow fight had gotten a little rowdy, and Ashlee and I fell off the bed, and-
Whoa, okay. You can put your shirt down. So you’re saying Ashlee, as in your sister, would get involved in these pillow fights too? Gah, that’s hot. Okay, but seriously. Let’s talk about something else. What’s new in the movie biz? You working on anything right now?
No. I haven’t been in a movie since Major Movie Star in oh eight. I miss the movies though. I was sort of like, important when I was in them. You know?
Oh yeah. I completely understand. So you’ve been in like, what? Five movies? Okay, so how about the music biz? You making any new records?
No, not really. I kind of got out of that. I really don’t do much anymore in Hollywood. Except like party, hang out with friends, go shopping, you know. Stuff like that.
So you just made enough records and movies to get yourself a little bank, so you can just hang out in Hollywood with all the A-listers? So you don’t actually do anything anymore?
No, not really. I really don’t have time anymore. It’s just, you know. Kind of crazy.
Wow. That must suck real bad. See, that’s kind of what I’m striving for here. I’m working real hard for a few years, writing columns every day, pimping the t-shirts, so I can retire at forty and just sit around with A-listers, doing a whole bunch of nothing.
So thanks for stopping by. Is there anything else you wanna say? Any shout-outs you wanna make before we cut this off?
Well, I would like to finish my pillow fight story, if you don’t mind. See, when-
Okay, sorry friends, I had to cut her mike off. Enough with the pillow fight talk. Well, unless we’re talking about her pillows… At this point in the interview though, I just secretly shut off her mike, went out and got some coffee, then sneaked back into the room. We talked about her boobs for a while, she let me take a few pictures, fooled around a little bit, then that was about it. I didn’t figure you all were interested in all that though, so I just left it out.
Anyway, thanks for stopping by again. Tune in next week, when Morgan Freeman stops by to talk about how awesome he is.