Why is reality television so popular? I guess I should put quotes around “reality”, because, as we all know, almost none of it is really real, realistically. But “reality television” has become the standard for all programming on broadcast television now. It’s become so popular that Fox, in the extra cable packages, even offers an ‘All Reality – All The Time’ channel. Is this seriously what people want over drama?
See, to me, television has always been about being entertained. And what scares me is that people really are being entertained by this low-brow programming. Women competing to see who gets to be some dude’s next wife. Men competing to be the next ex-husband of some woman who’s not really even all that pretty. Why did I say pretty, instead of mentioning her personality? Well, obviously, that’s all it’s about, because it’s television! Lowest common denominator. Have you seen Idiocracy? Yeah. Think just like that. And that’s not the worst of it.
I heard this morning about a program they’re broadcasting in Europe where they put a normal, attractive person in a home, locked in with a disfigured person. And the interior walls are all covered with mirrors.
Seriously, people? You call that taste?
So with people being more interested in stupid shit on the telly, like a dance contest, or a singing contest, or a cooking show, or who gets to work for Donald Trump… Where does that leave the rest of us? Those of us who are intellectuals – who actually like dramatic television, not some preened up princess pop show where the women’s personalities are faker than their bosoms.
When I watch television, I like the shows that either make me laugh or the ones that put me in suspense. Bones, House and The Mentalist provide suspense and drama, and The Office, 30 Rock and Boston Legal work the comedy angle for me. Now I don’t actually watch any of those. Not anymore.
See, I don’t get television. I’m not saying that like it’s the punchline to a joke.
“Gize, I don’t get it.”
No, I’m saying it because I have two hi-definition LCD televisions in my house. Two rather nice ones, in fact. And alls I have hooked up to them are a couple of sets of rabbit ears. Yeah, it’s the most ridiculous technological dichotomy I’ve ever seen. And they don’t even work. I get like one channel in the bar. And that’s after spending several months in the attic with a compass, a GPS unit and a flashlight. I finally get the one channel upon which I can watch the Dallas Cowboys play (shitty) football. So yeah. I don’t get TV. And I’m certainly not going to pay upwards of fifty dollars a month to subscribe to a service where they send it to me. I just really don’t watch enough of it to justify paying that much for something I can get for free.
Well, assuming I can get better rabbit ears.
So has humanity really gotten so dulled down and dumb that watching a bunch of stupid bimbos compete to win the heart of a hunk is entertaining? Am I honestly surprised that we’ve gotten there? Well, this is from the same bunch that preaches we all came from apes to begin with, so it shouldn’t be surprising at all. Apes would probably laugh their pink asses off at that stupid schlit.
So once again I’m pissed off at humanity. I’m pissed that we’ve put a show on television where a disfigured person is exploited in a house of mirrors. But I can’t decide if I’m pisseder that people actually watch it though. Boy that sounds like a real winner of a program. And in this time of horribly terrible television programming, I’ve finally come to the conclusion that the ads are where it’s at. (Please disregard that preposition at the end of my sentence. I know it doesn’t belong there. It just sounds hip and fresh.)
Seriously. Commercials are getting better while the regular programming is getting worse. Not all commercials, of course – because they’re all going for humor. But a lot of them are getting really clever. I am getting a little tired, I must admit, of the gecko. But who doesn’t like Stephanie Courtney as “Flo” in the Progressive commercials? Hey, everybody! As a side note, by the way, did you know that she’s like 40? Yeah. She’s also a stand-up comedian – you should check out some of her stuff. She’s pretty funny. Yes, I did check up on her to see what she’d been in. No, unfortunately no nudie flicks showed up in that list.
Anyway, with commercials getting better, I find myself smiling and nodding more at them than I do at the regular programs. And certainly more than I do at the Cowboys games. So I would like to propose to anyone important who is listening, that we have an ‘All Commercials, All the Time!’ channel. Talk about being paid for by the sponsors… I think I’d watch that occasionally. Perhaps I’d feel like Sammy Jankis, but I think it’s worth a shot. Because let’s face it: if TV gets any worse, we’re going to be watching vomit-eating contests and how-to shows about cleaning up dog shit. Let’s not get any dumber, America!