Welcome back, SpaceBrewers. We know none of you are reading this on Friday because you’re all out shopping at Best Buy, Kohl’s, Target and The Great American Cookie Company. But you will read this at some point. Thanksgiving has came and went, and we missed a great opportunity with Halloween – so we didn’t want to miss a Bacon Talk for Thanksgiving. So what did we give thanks for? Crrrrrringe… Okay, I thought I could live with the “has came and went” and I think I could have… But ending that sentence with “for”? Nuh uh. Grammar talk should be another weekly special here. So I can beat the hell out of you with sentences like “For what did you give thanks?” and the like.
Anyway, Haycomet, we traditionally mention our thanksgivings on this one day every year. And while that’s a good thing, don’t you think we should be thankful every day of the year – not just on that one day? I do. So in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I’ll just go ahead and ask you: who were you rooting for in the football game yesterday?
Well, I was rooting for the Cowboys, but apparently I didn’t root hard enough. Your optimism about the Cowboys taking the wildcard slot was smashed like a junebug under Two-Step’s boot.
But seriously – why is it that Thanksgiving to so many people means football, warm whiskey and turducken? Have you ever even had turducken? Yeah me neither. But somehow, stuffing a duck in a chicken’s ass, and then stuffing that whole thing into a turkey’s ass – yeah, that doesn’t make me hungry. Well, at least not as much as, say, fried skunk pie with moose livers and shriveled newt bladders.
Of course, my dad, mom and sister came over and we watched football, ate turkey and played Beyblades. Wait, that wasn’t until you and Byronic came over. So what would you have done on your fine Thanksgiving if you hadn’t come over to play Beyblades with me?
I would have done the same thing my husband and I do every year. We go to his parents’ house for lunch. We have all of the traditional Thanksgiving dinner foods. After lunch we sit around and chat. A few hours later, people gradually start leaving, we pack containers full of leftovers and then go home. This year was awesome though, because after we left his family’s house, we got to hang out with you and the rest of the Spacey family.
One thing that sucked about this year versus other years is that I knew my allergies this year. I was able to eat two pieces of turkey, and about two spoonfuls of mashed potatoes, and I still had an allergic reaction. So the main focus of Thanksgiving – the food – I can’t even enjoy. Other than the typical feast, what is your favorite part of Thanksgiving?
I do quite enjoy the after-lunch slumber party that always seems to abound in the living room. As I said in my reunion column, the men always gravitate to the room with the biggest TV so they can partake in a little football action – while the women stay in the kitchen doing the dishes, talking about turkeys and kittens. There becomes a very comfortable atmosphere when the men are sitting around, half-dozing and half-watching the game. The shouts are less energetic, the curse words have a few more letters in them than the usual four, and the air about the place seems a lot more relaxed in general. I love those times.
It reminds me of the times I would watch golf with my dad growing up. It’s quiet and dark in the living room, and I fall asleep usually within the first twelve minutes. That’s the same atmosphere in a Thanksgiving-day living room. I enjoy that quite a bit. What about you? Surely your favorite part is the cooking, right Comet? I bet you cook the schlit out of a turkey pie.
Nah, I know I went to culinary school, and I’ve been a pastry chef at one of the finest restaurants, but my favorite part is not the cooking. It’s getting to hang out with everyone and laze around. People generally seem to be in a great mood on Thanksgiving. Maybe it’s because we’re all reminded to be thankful, and we actually display that to one another. I’m with you though, I think we should be thankful everyday. Can you imagine what the average work day would be like if everyone was outwardly showing their thankfulness? I’m sure it would be less stressful. Don’t you think?
Now, when I was little, one of my favorite parts of Thanksgiving was the parades. Do you ever watch the parades? I heard the ones this year were very lame. The floats were covered in advertisements and there was a lot more singing than usual. Why does there have to be singing in a parade?
I um… I don’t know how to answer that, Comet. I always assumed there was a lot of singing in every parade. Of course, I can neither confirm nor deny that, seeing how I never watch the damn things. Let’s talk about this for a minute, because you bring up an interesting point. I have been to parades before. My daughter, in fact, was in one not too long ago. But I’m not especially fond of them. My point though, comma, is that I’m kind of at a loss as to what the point really is of a parade. That was a crappy sentence. I know.
But seriously. Okay so people are supposed to go watch all these floats drive by with people on them. Throwing out candy. Floats. And most of them are pretty gay. People blow up these big balloons that represent characters of some sort. Really, who cares? “Oh look, honey, there’s Dora The Explorer. Cute. Okay, let’s go get a hot dog.” And this schlit is televised somehow.
I don’t get it.
One of the things that my in-laws were so excited about yesterday was that today is “Black Friday”. I personally never understood the term, especially since we’re expected to be so politically correct. Shouldn’t we call it “African American Friday”? Well, I looked it up and found out that one of the reasons the day after Thanksgiving is called that is because stores turn a lot of profit on that day. Turning profit is considered to be “in the black”.
Space, you know I’m not big on shopping, and I’m sure as heck not fond of crowds, so I avoid Black Friday at all costs… literally. I would rather pay extra for anything in lieu of standing in lines or having to deal with large amounts of people. How about you?
I have no real comment on this question. I, too, think they should be a little more politically correct in naming the day though. No matter if they turn a profit or not. So if they turn a profit they call it being “in the black” because why? Because a lot of African Americans shopped there that day? I don’t get it. Whatever. I don’t avoid shopping on that day. I just don’t get up at three in the morning to go do it. Eff that. I’d rather sleep in, then get up and eat some leftover turkey, then go buy some crap at a good price. That’s a topic for another day though: the way my red-haired wife cooks, there’s really no “left” about it. I call them “rightovers”.
Well, I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving. One thing I’m always sure to be thankful for on Thanksgiving Day is the fact that we have Thanksgivings, so that I have days on which I can be thankful for days for which I can be thankful for things. And I’m thankful for that. So, until next year, happy holidays, everyone. And happy Black Friday to everyone. Even you white people.