Children: Spare ‘Em or Spoil ‘Em?

Let’s talk about spanking children. A lot of people have a lot of problems with it, and some people cannot decide if they think it’s wrong or right. Well let me set the record straight, at least about my point of view on the issue. Anyone who’s gonna be my kid better be ready to receive spankings when they eff up. Period. To spare the rod is to spoil the child. My sister told me her Child Development class teaches (from the text book) that spanking your kid makes them violent as a teenager. I say to this – hogwash. I can’t tell you how many times I was spanked, and I am further from being violent-minded than the East is from the West. Complete horse caca. I will hear no more of it.

At that, I would have had to walk out of the class in disgust, tossing the text in the trash on the way out. It is not only Biblical, but also statistical that children who are disciplined correctly (i.e., spanked – for you lay people) are better in school and less likely to be in trouble with the law as adolescents. Is that not clear? I have witnessed firsthand children who walk all over their parents. Whether or not they are disciplined correctly is none of my business. But I can tell you what I do know. I do know these children I speak of are not spanked as a general rule. So make your own analysis, but my inference is that something is amiss.

All the children I’ve ever seen who walk all over their moms usually don’t do the same thing with the dads. It’s because the mom doesn’t hold true the same values and structure when the father’s not around. It’s like as soon as he leaves, she loses her backbone and doesn’t want to be the disciplinarian she should be, so the child doesn’t respect her. Therefore, he knows he can just do whatever he wants and nothing will happen. If both parents exercised the same level of discipline and structure, the child would be much better behaved.

Update from 2010:

Now having children since 2004, it’s only become more evident that the structure and discipline is absolutely imperative. My three children are well mannered, well behaved and respectful to adults and authority figures. I do run my house like a military camp, but I don’t have to spank. I spanked Callie up until she was three or four, but since then it’s not even been necessary. Because she lives within the boundaries I laid down. I’m not patting myself on the back, I’m just reaffirming that what I said ten years ago seems to be true now that I do have children. Had I spared the rod, so to speak, they would have turned out a lot differently.

My step-son, who is older than my girls, came into the house when he was eight. So he’s only had a couple of years of exposure to my system, and his attitude, manners and behavior has improved greatly. It’s hard for kids who have a broken home to live within structure unless both households adhere to the same standards across the board. I’m not saying his father was wrong in the way he raised him, but our boy acted differently over there than he did in my home. Since we’ve collaborated and compared notes and gotten on the same page, he’s now a great picture of discipline and respect.

It’s important, therefore, to start early (from as early as a few months old) in laying your foundation and boundaries so they know what to expect from you. And for Elephant’s sake, people, impress the same values between mother and father! Undermining the authority of one by setting your own boundaries will return failure in your system! And you should only have to lock the kids in the freezer a few times before they start making changes in their attitudes.

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1 Response

  1. scott says:

    The second my boys popped out after birth, I snatched them from the doctor, whipped them and told them to “man up, and stop crying” It didn’t work, so I haven’t spanked them since.

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