This just in: People are morons.

Did anyone watch the “watch with the world premiere event” last night on Discovery Channel – Inside the Space Station? I did. It was pretty cool, but I kept getting severely irritated with the people. Not the people in the show, but the people watching it.

Example:

Every time it went to a commercial, it would show some dude from some small town asking a question to the cosmonauts. When the program came back on, the cosmonauts would answer it. What pissed me off was the subject of these moronic questions they asked! One woman asked, “What do you miss the most about being on Earth?” Give me a damn break! So of course, all three dudes answer the same exact way: “I miss my friends and family.”

I want to learn about the space station! I want to know shit like “how does it feel to swallow water in its spherical state?” or “how does it feel to orgasm?” because I know some of them have gotten lonely out there. Surely, one of them has to have been curious enough to find out. And you know someone said, “I’m gonna be the first guy ever to jack-off in space.” You know it!

Then the next dude asks the most retarded question of all: “What do you see when you look out the window?” I almost threw a brick through my TV screen. What the hell do you think they see, you idiotic retarded moron bastard? Stars and space on one side and the Earth on the other! The ignorance of humanity in general, collectively – just makes me want to shoot myself in the face. I wanted to collectively choke the world last night.

Not once did anyone ask a good, logical, space station-related question! Like “Is it scary to hear trash and small objects hitting the outside of the station?” or “How does it feel to sleep in zero-gravity?” or “Can you feel your muscles starting to atrophy?” or “Have you jacked off yet?” I can’t believe it that they didn’t screen these stupid phone-callers to get some good questions. Instead they cared more about the human aspect of being in space, missing their loved ones and shit like, “Do you have a picture of your kids on the wall? Aw, how precious.” Sigh.

Someone rescue me. Can I go live on the space station, please?

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