Everyone is out to get me!

No joke, every six months, someone wants to mess my shit up. Someone comes out of nowhere, not PAYING ATTENTION, and SLAM. Three days after I got my Durango, someone decided it was time to sandwich me in it. So I was without it for two weeks while it got repaired. Then some stupid little uninsured bitch decided it was time to slam into my wife’s car. And now, the Durango again.

Yesterday, sitting at a red light, the woman in front of me was the first in line. The light greened and she stalled out. I obviously didn’t move because I WAS PAYING ATTENTION so I just waited patiently. Well the guy behind me decided it was time to go, since he saw the other lane moving. He obviously wasn’t PAYING ATTENTION to what was going on in his lane. You know, the shit that mattered. So he slammed into my bumper. Now I have to take the damn truck in for another week or two to get it repaired. All new rear end. The place I always take my vehicles is overbooked right now, so it will be a while. You know, I’m on a first name basis with them guys since so many people like to drive without PAYING ATTENTION. People need to get they heads out of they asses and start taking driving a little more seriously. It ain’t a damn game where you wreck and game over you lose your quarter. Put your damn phone away and watch what the hell you’re doing.

It doesn’t look that bad by the picture, and really – technically – it isn’t that bad. It’s the principle. My Durango is just over a year old and two people have already been so attracted to it they just couldn’t resist hitting it. The bumper shakes and rattles now, and my plate is creased like an envelop (I already straightened it a little). So within a week of getting any new vehicle, people have made a habit of screwing them up for me. Well guess what, pal? You lost! I happened to leave my new vehicle at home yesterday, so you got the wrong one. Now your insurance goes up cause your dumb ass got the wrong one. Seen in this lower picture is my nextdoor neighbor, who isn’t terribly fond of bras. God bless her.

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