Who is your daddy and what does he do?

SpaceBrew hasn’t always been called SpaceBrew. The site here and its content has gone through an embarrassingly large number of names and phases. We used to be called Moon’s Crater. There’s a story there, but you wouldn’t probably find it interesting. In our search for the perfect name for what we do (and the domain name to match), we went through many names. But the spirit – and indeed most of the content – has remained the same over the years.

Plainly and simply put, we post flat text here. I’m not sure why I refer to it in the fourth person. There’s really no ‘we’ here. There used to be. In fact, over the years, I’ve had some twenty-plus writers come and go. Usually five or six at a time would write with me, providing good content and differing opinions and views on everything from religion to taxes, and everything in between. And then there were some years when it was just a partnership. Once with Flavio, but usually with a female writer, because I like seeing the breakdown of topics and debate from both sides of the gender fence.

But after my last term with a femme writer, I decided to fly solo. So it’s back to just me, and just my content. You can find the Bacon Talk columns, where I co-authored a weekly topic with Haycomet. But other than that, all the guest writers and their content can be found on the archives site, where it’s no longer updated.

What’s the story here, bro?

As I said above, I post flat text with an occasional spot picture for decoration. The spirit of the site since its inception has always been the same. I want to entertain my readers intellectually. You won’t find porn here (though I do push the boundaries with prose), or anything posted simply for shock value. It’s all PG-rated text, mostly in diary form. I journal a lot of my travels, ideas, rants and theories here.

I’m not promising everything you read on this site is one hundred-percent true, but I promise you’ll find something you like. I’ve written over four hundred columns through the years and there’s bound to be something that interests you. If not, okay, thanks for reading, so long, and better luck finding something that suits you. If so, I encourage you to register an account and tell me how you feel about it in the comments section below the column. I enjoy the feedback from my readers.

Who are all these fools, anyway?

When I first began writing on the internet, there was a small ring of about ten sites that traded links with each other, and they all got very big. Mine was one of them. At one time, SpaceBrew was in the top-five most-visited E/N sites on the internet. A lot of the readers from back them still read today. What I’ve found though is that readers are lazy. They like to come read and click out, on to the next site in their blogroll. Meaning, almost no one ever leaves comments. But I know they’re here from my stats.

This site still brings in over a thousand unique visitors a week, mostly looking for nude pictures of Monique Gabrielle. I’m not sure why the hell she’s so popular – or why she in particular attracts so many boob-seekers. But a fair percentage of that thousand-plus are regular readers. That fanbase that started back in the late nineties. Sure, it’s thinned out from the 5000+ per week, but it’s still a pretty strong culture.

I’ve found that most of the readers here appreciate light humor and intelligent prose. They’re not here to hear about how my drive to work went, what I bought at the super market, or how sweet my pet cat is. Number one, I don’t drive to work. Two, I don’t think there’s anything super about the market. And C, I don’t have a cat. I don’t believe in them. No, people who come here like quick wit and reliable content. I’m mostly reliable. I write at least once or twice a week now days.

So what do we do with the body?

Just read. Enjoy yourself. You’ll find a search box on the home page. And beneath every column excerpt you’ll see the category and a list of tags. If one of those categories or tags interests you particularly, click it. Or just read them all in order. Or for those of you who like to take chances, click the ‘scramble’ link in the sidebar. That will show you a random column. There’s plenty here to keep you busy for a long time.

If you have any questions, comments, concerns, or anything else you want to say to SpaceBrew, you can call the 800 number and navigate through the complex call routing system and leave a voice mail with Notoria Bloodsaw, the artificial intelligence personality in charge of public relations for the corporation. Or you can drop me a line. I guarantee a response. I’m glad you’re here. Seriously. Thank you.

So who is this Space guy, anyway?

I’m not technically a simple person – I have a wide array of hobbies – but it’s all very simple to explain. I don’t like listing out all my hobbies for someone to ingest, so I’ll just give you three of them. I like to write, I brew my own beer, and I enjoy kicking back with a twisty puzzle to give my brain a workout.

I went to school. For a while. I was more interested in the girls in my class than in the subject matter though, so promptly I dropped out and pursued more illustrious endeavors. I joined the military and served four years in the Air Force. I have since gone back and studied all those subjects that could not retain my interest while in school. These include history, astrophysics, cosmology, and a lot about the art and culture of grammar and literature. I took most fondly to grammar and English, and thus find it hard to respect or take seriously anyone who uses AOL Speak or otherwise generally abuses our language. It’s so elegant and complex. We should treat it with reverence.

Aside from brewing beer – or maybe within it – I also like to drink it. I love the many complex styles and flavors and aromas one can get from just about the same set of ingredients. It’s profoundly interesting to me, and I’ve become a student of the brewing process. I regularly make around seven or eight distinct beers and get a kick out of tweaking the recipes. Drinking beer goes so well with darts and poker and stones and so many other things that it is hard to imagine life without it. Well, I don’t waste time with such things. Imaginings, that is.

I am a father and a husband (when I’m not busy brewing beer, writing and solving puzzles), and live in a house on the lake. I have a lovely family and an insanely hot red-haired wife, about whom you will see me write many times. She is the perfect partner for a guy like me. Though she doesn’t particularly like writing, she’s really good at drinking beer with me and listening to me bumble around on the guitar. And that’s pretty cool.

I’m also a spiritual guy. I believe in salvation through Christ and am open to discussion about it at any time, anywhere. Though I’m not the kind of guy who goes around trying to convert people, I’m always open to answering questions about my own experience or about what I know of faith. It has definitely made my life better. I am not, however, one of those idiots who “hates fags” or celebrates at veterans’ funerals. People like that give those of us who humbly and quietly go on about our belief a bad name. People like that are scarcely Christian at all, in fact.

I’m very lax and laid-back, very slow to anger and very open-minded. I don’t believe in discussing politics and am very easy to get along with. Is that simple enough? I hope so.