Happy Friday the 13th everybody. Hope spooky things happen today. Actually, you know what would worry me more, would be Monday the 13th. If I were a superstitious guy, which I’m not, because that’s just gay, and I really don’t get into gay stuff, especially meaningless shit like superstitions, yeah, including that one about throwing the salt over your shoulder, but if I were a superstitious guy, and I actually believed that the number 13 was unlucky, and it fell on a Monday, then I might be worried. But Fridays are awesome!
Anyway, so I went camping this weekend. Just a few close friends and I – nothing big. We only took like six coolers full of food and beer. Don’t you have to be close friends to go camping with someone? I mean, really – are you going to take someone you don’t even like? Anyway, yeah, like I said, we went camping. And it was so son of a bitching hot that we had to keep buying bags of ice. And I finally realized something. I’m in the wrong damn business.
We found that everywhere we went, ice was averaging around 1.80 per bag. Seriously? Is it really necessary to profit that much on a bag of ice? This isn’t a supply and demand issue, friends. People aren’t going to buy ice if they aren’t using a cooler. People aren’t going to buy extra bags just because it’s cheap. Because the one thing about ice, and I don’t know if you guys know this or not, but the one thing about it is that it melts. Since it was hotter than the surface of the sun out there, our coolers were flooding like every four hours. We had to keep running back down to the marina and buying more ice. And three ten-pound bags (that was just for my two coolers) were costing 6.20 after tax. Ahem.
Six dollars and twenty sense. See what I did there? So yeah over the weekend, I spent around twenty-five ridiculous dollars on ice. And it’s all gone now. I have nothing to show for it! My whole problem with this is that, like I said, there’s not a supply/demand issue, so they’re not just price gouging. Yet everyone who is selling ice is profiting like enron off this shit. Like if people were to stop buying gas, beer and smokes, the store could stay open on the ice business alone. And that pisses me right the damn off.
The bag is the most expensive component in the ice enterprise. I’d say they’re probably paying eight cents a bag. Then you have to pay the water bill, which, to fill a hundred eight-pound bags probably costs them about a dollar. Then you have to pay electricity. Let’s face it, keeping that ice vault running all the time must cost fifty bucks a month on its own! So if they sell twenty-five bags of ice at the current price, they’ve paid that month’s bill already. So why the hell do they need to charge so much? I’d say max price for a bag of ice is fifty cents. No tax, because remember – it’s just frozen water. So why am I paying two bucks a bag, plus tax?
Well I don’t want to get hung up on this. I’ve already written four paragraphs about it. Don’t count them, just trust me – it’s four. Sigh. See? I told you. But it really does piss me off. They’re already beating the shit out of me with the price of sodas, beer, anal lube, Funyuns and Wrigley’s Double Mint. Can you give me a break on the ice?