I Want to Believe

Man this is great. Peligro Pete just got back from Roswell and he brought me a souvenir! I’m liking all this free time he has now since he got canned from the force. Anyway, they spent some time in Roswell watching alien autopsy videos and dodging abductions left and right. Well I haven’t talked to him yet, but I’m almost positive that’s probably exactly what he did. But he took a little time to stop in to some alien store and get me a souvenir. What a guy!

OFFICIAL ALIEN BEERWhen I got home last night I knew to look in my fridge for the souvenir he had promised me. When he goes places he usually brings me beer. What a guy! So I opened my fridge and this is what was sitting in there. (Click on the image for a full-size copy.) And two things happened simultaneously.

Number one: I got gloriously excited about a new brand and flavor of beer I’ve never tried. Free beer is the best beer, right? Well, unless someone gives you a six of Schlitz. I can think of something that gives you that rhymes with its name. But yeah, now I have some beer to try this weekend when I’m hanging out in the Space Bar. A beer I’ve never tried. Chills run down my back as I think about it.

And number two: chills ran down my back as I realized that I was looking at a product that was out of this world.

For years, I’ve been a skeptic. I’ve never actually seen an alien spacecraft, and since I’ve never been abducted I’ve never really had enough evidence to get me to believe that aliens even existed. I’m a see-it-to-believe-it guy. Well, I saw it. When I picked up the six-pack and looked at the message on the side of the carton, I got chills all over my body, and almost dropped it. Click here to read the message. Creepy, huh? I know. I’ve seen it. So now I have no other choice but to believe.

This was a life-changing experience for me. Think of all the time wasted that I could have been researching! Trying to contact them! Letting them know I come in peas! So much of my life I spent disbelieving their existence, and now I feel like a fool. So this weekend, when I’m drinking my cold alien beer, I will raise one to the stars and salute the makers of this surely great product.

Share

You may also like...

3 Responses

  1. What if it’s not supposed to be chilled?

  2. Schatzi says:

    I think only aliens drink alien beer… I’ve got my eye on you, Space.
    :raise:

  3. Immigration Officer Tommy Rizzo says:

    That’s it, bitch, up against the wall. Oh, wait, you’re green. Fuck it, that’s close enough to brown. You’re going back to ME-HEE-CO, UH-ME-GO!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *