Happy Monday, Planet Earth

There are several things on my mind this morning, all of which I intend to share with you. Well, except one of them. One of them isn’t appropriate for this website. But the rest of them are. In fact, the rest of them are part of the core values upon which this website was founded! Humor, entertainment and a good dose of pissed offedness.

First off, I’d like to award the SpaceBrew Movie of the Week award to Despicable Me. If you haven’t seen it, you should run out and rent it. Or buy it, hell. You’ll end up watching it several times. The other day my kids and I watched it in the morning. We then ended up at my Pop’s house and they wanted to see it so we watched it again. And I still laughed at all the funny bits. I’m still not bored by it.

That’s actually both awesome and sad at the same time. Awesome that a kids’ movie can be as entertaining as a regular live-action film made for general audiences. They’re able to work in humor that keeps an adult entertained while the kids are busy watching the cartoon bits. It’s also simultaneously sad though, because the flip side of that dirty coin says that the film industry has a hard time making movies as good as the animated ones these days. Meh. Either way, a lot of the animated ones are awesome these days, and my kids love them, so score.

Secondly, I’d like to get something off my chest. If you are one of those people who likes to say “I gave it one hundred and ten percent” or use the phrase “one hundred and ten percent” at all, ever, then we’re not going to get along if we meet in real life. Well we might get along, but as soon as you say “one hundred and ten percent”, I’ll probably throw up in my mouth a little bit, then be so let down and disappointed that I won’t want to see you anymore. It’s not you, it’s me.

Really, why do people feel like they have to say some made-up, fictitious, sci-fi bullsh of a percentage? Is one hundred percent just not good enough? If I give something everything I have and bust my ass on it and put my blood, sweat and tears into it, and just really give it my all, I have probably still not even put in a hundred percent, because I probably took a break here and there, got some water, got a band-aid for when I sliced my hand on the saw, answered the phone when those three hot girls called me… So yeah, maybe in all actuality, I gave it a good strong ninety-two percent. And that’s good enough.

Now of course, when someone asks me why I don’t have it done on Monday morning at oh eight hundred, I can safely say, “Well it isn’t for lack of effort! I gave it a hundred percent!” And that would be okay. But as soon as someone says “I gave it one hundred and ten percent!” they instantly lose all credibility with me, the bottom drops out of my respect level for that person, and I lose interest in whatever it was that person was saying. Seriously. It’s so phony and ridiculous and Idiocracy that I just stop listening.

In other news, SpaceBrew may be going corporate again. I’m in the mood to rebuild and redesign the site like I do every couple of years, and I’m bored with the blog. I may rebuild it here pretty soon to accommodate my new endeavors.

And speaking of new endeavors, I have officially and formally decided to get my band back together. Not necessarily the same guys, but I will be making the calls this week. I’ve waited long enough, and have finally begun finding the inspiration again. And plus I miss the stage. Nothing further, you’re on her.

Lastly, I would like to dispel the rumors you’ve been hearing about me. No, I was not caught on camera Friday night with Paris Hilton, Olivia Wilde, Jessica Simpson and Tyra Banks, leaving a liquor store on the way to Mike Tyson’s house. It was not me.

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