We’re Not PC Enough

On my way to work this morning I heard on the radio that about 1500 people are lined up to sue New York City for damages incurred on 9/11. Let me say this again. 1500 people are going to sue New York City for dust damage and smoke inhalation and stuff like that. Are we a suit-happy nation? In the heat of those terrorist attacks against our country, we have people living here claiming to be Americans who want to sue their own city because it was attacked?!? What the hell are you people thinking? Why don’t you sue the al Qaeda network? Sue Afghanistan! what the hell kind of patriots are you that want to sue your own country for being attacked?

That to me is like suing your home builder because your wife got murdered and got blood on the carpet. Why don’t you sue Ford because someone rear-ended your pickup? I am so sick and tired of hearing about people wanting to sue other people. Everyone wants a quick buck and they shamelessly pursue it, without regard for taste, coherency, or humanity. That is completely and totally ludicrous. And it fills me with rage beyond that which words can describe. I say anyone that wants to sue their own city because it was attacked by terrorists should be deported immediately. Don’t want to leave? Fine. Bullet to the head. Extradition or execution. Your choice. You should be donating to help relieve New York. Not suing them to get rich, you arrogant insensitive pricks.

Another thing hot on my piss list today is the ‘controversial’ Dr Pepper can. I heard about this on talk radio on the way home yesterday. One guy called in and said, “… Well this isn’t something they can just apologize for and take back and cover up. I have been drinking Dr Pepper for almost 40 years, and I will never buy another product now.” So I was like, “Wow! Must be pretty bad.” I got home and scoured the Internet trying to find more news about this. But I couldn’t. I finally found the picture of the can in question though. This guy said he was a Christian and he was offended by it. Click here to see the can.

Okay, so you wanna know what I think about it? And let me preface this by saying I am a Christian, and I think “under God” should always be included when reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. So here’s what I think about the terrible Dr Pepper can that left the word ‘God’ out. Someone in marketing thought they’d do something nice on their cans (tee hee) to remind us that we are One Nation who is Indivisible. Yeah, he couldn’t really fit the entire Pledge on the can so he put just a few patriotic words on the can. Left a few out, skipped a few, no biggie. That’s it. That’s all it is, people. He wasn’t trying to offend anyone by leaving out God’s name. He wasn’t trying to make a statement that God doesn’t belong in the Pledge. He was just saying something patriotic. Here’s my words to you, Mister “I’ve Been Drinking DP For 40 Years And I’ll Never Buy Another Can”:

Shut up, seriously.

Get over it dude. Grow up and stop being such a pansy-ass sissy who gets his feelings hurt because something doesn’t say what you want it to, you stupid piece of shit. Hey I know those aren’t kind words coming from a Christian, but it’s that type of “Christian” who makes the rest of us look bad. Stop looking for reasons to be mad and reasons to sue! Stop being a douche! Do you disagree with what was written (not what was NOT written) on the can? No? Then shut the hell up!

Okay, that’s all I have to say about it. Oh, and to those of you lined up wanting to sue New York City for taking some terrorist attacks? Hey, cut ’em a break, will ya? Come on! Oh, and die a fiery burning death and go straight to hell you communists. Die. And move to Cuba.

Update from 2012

I’ve changed my mind about this. Carry on, folks. As you were.

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